White women, help me answer this

- Here's a question, are white women taught to call their Black lovers Mandingo?

What...?

Do you want your first same sex encounter to be 1-on-1 or as a group thing?

BanginBod

My self-summary
I'm a "boob guy." I like fast cars and even faster women. If you can't keep up, you should stop reading now.

I love my job, and you could call me a workaholic. I pull in 6 figures a year with my eyes closed. I'm not looking to be anyone's sugar daddy but wouldn't mind doing it for the right looking woman. She's gotta be bangin like me.

I love to work out in my home gym while watching ESPN on my flat screen. I love tanning, Ed Hardy, light beer (gotta keep the abs), going out to the club with my boyz, and the beach.

Work hard. Play hard.

What I’m doing with my life
Livin' it like it's my last day.

I’m really good at
Sex, crunches, tanning, and making money.

The first things people usually notice about me
My physique

My favorite books, movies, music, and food
I mostly read GQ and Muscle & Fitness mags. I love actions movies, alt rock music, and low carb foods.


The six things I could never do without
Sex, money, the gym, my private tanning bed, the Yankees, and SEX.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Sex and money....hey, I'm a guy

On a typical Friday night I am
At the club with the boyz

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I'm not Italian.

You should message me if
You're hot and wanna party.

New IMs

- hi would you help me take care of my sexual needs with your sexual imagination??

- Hey girl. Any chance you might be up for giving a NSA BJ tonight? I'll make it worth your while.

- Sexy

- lets talk english

- Hey Hottie
- Wow Hey Beautifual

dude: can i see ur tits
me: Nope.
dude: y

- hey I am a single and hate cheaters and liars. i am 21 my names chad i had enough of them in the past that i don't need any of that crap anymore so I look for someone who is honest, funny, somewhat romantic, kind, loves sports, and beautiful as u

- Hello, my name is David. Would you care to chat with me?
- I am a nice guy just looking to chat with a nice girl
- wow, you won't even respond to what I asked. Just say no if you don't want to.

- hi
- sorry for intruding on you like this
- permission to chat with you please

- Fuck you.

- Not trying to be rude, but would you want to make some money tonight?

- wild or tame?

- I saw your pic and seriously have to change my pants and stop drooling!!! ;) no jk but really i thought u werent your age. you look way too hot. sexy! now just to get you to dance with me. jk just saying hey! and hope you had a wild weekend..hehe

Thank you, no.

Hey

Can I ask you... you look cute'er than the average girl here... anyone nailing you ?

Andy

I feel pretty good about them...

What do you think of sugar daddies?

Why, I'd love to!

lets make out

I'll take it where I can get it.

- Wow I don't care if you don't respond. Just had to let you know your BEAUTIFUL

- how are you single, very pretty.

- Hello we kinda match. You have nice eyes and I am into eyes.

- if you stood infront of a mirror holding 11 roses youd be looking at the 12 most beautiful things in the world :)

- hi, just wanted to say you are very beautiful

- hi there. super cute!

- Hey Sexy!

- Wow you look amazing

- aw:) you have really sexy eyes :)

- You have a cute profile

Nunya Biznass!

- can i ask you something personal
- are you submissive

If someone does not respond affirmatively to the first question, do you really feel free to ask the second?

Looking for a third

hey hows it going so my girl and i were browsing through profiles and came across yours we are interested and would lke to know more if you could please contact us at XXX-XXX-XXXX* her name is alberta and she is 28 my name is andrew. we would love to hear from you. by the way we are looking for some one to join our relationship.

*Number withheld so none of you crazy kids would contact them.

ESL Chat?

dude: hey blondei was up

me: do you mean blondie?

dude: Ju got it bro. ju havin fun chicana?

me: of course

dude: i need your fun chicana

me: how would that go

dude: tell me how you want it to go chicana

me: i asked you first

dude: tella me what you want chicana, and dona be shy

me: i dont think you have what i want.

dude: how you know chicana

me :you're not my type, chico

dude: :you dona know that chicana. what type you like baby

me: My type is less creepy, younger, more educated, and not so free with pet names with a stranger. So we won't work out. Bye.

dude: so you like your father then eh? your father he fuck you up de ass? don lie now

me: No, you're thinking of your own father. Is this bringing up traumatic childhood memories? Is that why you act like this?

dude: i'm non crepy, i am the best. your father he pulverize your ass? don lie

me: I can see English was not your first language...

dude: com on coksucker, don be shy. tell mebout your deddy. he fuck you in de ass eh?

me: Not so much :-)

dude: right in dat ass eh, is that where he planted it?

me: You should probably IM women who'd be interested in you, since I am not.

dude: how deep in dat ass he plant it eh?

me:Is this supposed to bother me? Good try.

dude: don by shy blondie

me: Oh, I'm not.

dude: come on blondie you suck your deddy diko?

me: haha, you must know how to spell those words correctly

dude: come on you suck your daddy diko right?

me: No, no, I've told you. That must've been you.

dude :naa is you blondie, you look like the dicksucker to me

me: Feel free to chat with other people instead.

dude: feel free to be a loser

me: Thank you, I will!

Recent Messages on OkCupid

The following are all unsolicited messages from male users on OkCupid.com
I'm glad I don't expect anything from internet dating or this would be a real disappointment.

Guy #1
- Hey sweetie
- Whats your name?
- You think Im cute
- I like you with your hair crimped....
- and blonde
- Id hit it....

Guy #2
- lets get freaky there baby
- well we gonna play

Guy #3
- r u free 2 talk dirty?

Guy #4
- whats up
- are u really blonde?

Guy #5
- I'm going to be honest here. I think we should do it, you are damn attractive.. at least I'm not putting up a front.

MFW Ad in MI Singles' Network - I'm so confused by this...

A Lover Very Practical

20 Hobbies dont tell me your now happy with the good life on the town nor does it tell you whether your a free loadder needing spoiling. Being a celebrity in your family doesnt tell if you fall out with people without being to selfish and irrational. A college degree doesnt tell me whether you have $40 nails and $100 dollar hair styles as well as $5 drinks and $20 dinners. A professional career doesnt tell me if you gambling addictions and stock market crashes as well as bankruptcy or deliquent debts. Faithful dont tell me whether or not your a liar and cheater getting alimony and whether or not you cheat on your boss and do money fraud. Sincere dont tell me whether or not you have baggage. People can understand and bargain with well. Dont tell me whether or not you believe James 3:2 as well as Ephesians 5:22-24. Opinions dont tell me whether or not your strict with your stereotypes on people. Dont tell whether or not your a verse by verse bible beleiver correctly handsome 40 year old man. Single means your not a sore loser dumped ?

The Topic I Get The Messages/Questions About:

That I want chickens someday.

I think his message was a reach, zing!

I am Reach. anyway I am 20 years old about to be 21 in may. I am a goof-ball at times and sometimes do the crazies things. I soon to be going to MCC after a stressful environment that I left behind. Now I can focus on me. I even work at sonics'. So if you interested text email me back. hope to here from you. Later
P.S. IM me if it be faster to talk

How Many Dates to find "The One"?

Average Woman Dates 24 Men To Find 'Mr. Right'
Research: Search Costs Women More Than $3,000

New research shows the average woman dates 24 men and will spend more than $3,000 to find "Mr. Right."

"Although you cannot put the price on true love, it seems you can certainly put a price on finding it," a spokesman for UKDating.com, which polled 2,173 of its members for the study, told The Daily Mail of London.

In the study, 7 percent of women surveyed went on 41 to 60 dates before finding someone to share their life with.

And 1 percent of women said they had been on 61 to 80 dates before finding someone suitable.

The research also revealed that despite the amount spent on each date, a third of women have left halfway through after realizing they had met "Mr. Wrong."

One in four women will meet a man just once before deciding whether or not he is "the one," according to the research.

Thirty-five percent will give a man two dates, and 16 percent make their decision after three dates.

Do U Talk Dirty?

Just signed onto OkCupid and received this IM

ji sexy
do u talk dirty?

This was sent by a gentleman whose screen name includes bigcock.

Checked out his profile and it was pretty much what you'd expect:


I am fuck, sex, and shag.

My Self-Summary
i love swaping dirty pics n talking dirty and fucking poeple

What I’m doing with my life
shaging my life away

I’m really good at
fucking

The first things people usually notice about me
my cock

My favorite books, movies, music, and food:
pornos

The six things I could never do without
sex and rock

I spend a lot of time thinking about
sex

On a typical Friday night I am
fucking some1

You should message me if
if u are very DIRTY

Still not a princess...

I think you guys recall the message I received where my knight in shining armor offered me the fairest pony in all the land, etc
Well I didn't give you the full story. I responded and said "Nope, not a princess."

He promptly wrote this in return

"You're not a princess, you're a troublemaker!
what have you been up to lately? Some friends came to visit, so I took them to a new club I wanted to try. The DJ was great, but I had to spend most of the night stopping 50 year old men from hitting on my friend's little sister! Haha, won't be going back there again!"


After this...interesting message I went ahead and wrote back that I was not too much of a troublemaker either.

He then said:

"have any getaways planned? Had some friends over last night to discuss where we're going this year. Might try Italy again.

Went there a few years ago and the girl I was traveling with managed to get stuck in a toilet in a station in the middle of nowhere. The only person around was the woman in the ticket booth and she didn't speak ANY English! You wouldn't believe how hard it is to mime 'my friend is stuck in a toilet' without getting yourself arrested!"

These messages were all sent a month ago with no further contact...until tonight, out of the blue he writes:

sweet, charming, gorgeous, lovable...but enough about me, what mischief have you been stirring up?



Should I give him points for perseverance?

Sexiness

I just finished Mennonite in a Little Black Dress by Rhoda Janzen. It's a memoir about a woman (raised Mennonite, duh) whose bipolar verbally abusive husband leaves her for a man. She spends time reconnecting with her family, culture, blah blah...

I came across this paragraph about sexiness near the end of the book and agreed with it thoroughly so thought I'd share it with all of you:

In my opinion, sexiness comes down to three things: chemistry, sense of humor, and treatment of waitstaff at restaurants. If the sparks don't fly from the beginning, they never will. If he doesn't get your sense of humor from the first conversation, you'll always be secretly looking for someone else who does. And if a guy can't see restaurant servers as real people, with needs and dreams and crappy jobs, then I don't want to be with him, even if he just won the Pulitzer Prize.

Turn-off: Self-importance

This guy seemed intelligent, sarcastic, and not too bland.

In our first IM convo he said "well you're sane, educated, and direct....why are you on here and not swept up already?"
I responded that I've been asking myself the same question.

The 3rd day of our IM convos he asked if I had finals coming up. I said I did but I'd soon be done...until grad school.

SI: haha i tested out of grad school, never saw a day in the classroom haha however the political science degree was a lot of tests, but the urban development degree was a lot of papers
and studies of innercity developments and so on so like presentations and projects
very few things worse in life than group projects

me:yeah theyre a particular hatred of mine

SI: theyre a huge hatred of mine
especially when you give one to the entire city council of los angeles including the mayor
and the mayor interrupts you and you reply "excuse me I'm talking now, so you be quiet"
and then it gets shown on kcal9los angeles news haha

me:unhunh

SI: but it was a perfect city to study urban development

me:yeah

SI:perfect mix of wackos, insane people, and politicians

me:i bet

SI:hence why i left
and many many other reasons

me:fair enough

SI: ahahaha
i always love that response
its a general out for
"Ok i disagree"
which is why i find it so amusing

me:I think of it as more neutral
(OR BECAUSE I WAS SO FUCKING BORED WITH THIS CONVERSATION THAT I COULDNT THINK OF SOMETHING BETTER TO SAY, YOU POMPOUS ASS!)

SI:of course cuz we wouldnt want to sway one way or another and risk offending anyone

I don't know about you, readers, but I don't find somebody tooting their own horn like that very appealing. And I didn't care much for his sarcasm at the end about not being more opinionated...

ko00ol and cray nites in London

Guest post from Hannah:

While I was abroad in London, I thought it would be cool to join the London Facebook network. This turned out to be a not so great idea as every now and then, some creepy guy would try and friend me. And then, in December, towards the end of my stay there, a very special man messaged me this gem:

"looking for sumone .. who is up for cray nites.. loves parties.. and knows how to have fun at any moment.. have some nice wine to vodka.. to smokey... sum1 who loves life and enjoys it without any issues.. ....simply ko00ol..... i am ko0ool and i am sure bout dat.. ..love my life.. parties on the level... .. work.. TRAVELLIN....anything comes to mind and feels like ... never bored.and neither will u be.."

Needless to say, I did not meet this distinguished gentleman, but his words continue to inspire me to this day to enjoy "cray nites" and remain "ko00ol."

Generic

Message from a 31 year old man who looks 45. I'm pretty sure he just cuts and pastes the same thing to multiple people:

Hello

The truth is as I look threw profiles the first thig that makes me look at them are the pic's. If I think someone is good looking I read there profile and if I like what I read I send them a msg. I like to think I'm a good guy and I am some what picky about who I date because of my son. He is the greatest thing ever and anyone I date must be willing to except him and love him as well as me. Now that thats out of the way. Hi I like your profile, I think your cute and Interesting... I like to work out although i do not do it near as much as i should. I'm a movie ( off the subject thought, did u shower naked ? i shower naked...just so u know) junky. I watch way to many. I even like chick flicks as well as the blow them up stuff. My friends tell me I'm funny,.. well maybe a little. Anyways enought about me how about you?... O i am Jesse by the way.


P.S stop thinking of me naked in the shower we have not even talked yet gee's

I'm told I eat pussy like a lesbian.

Bi-sexual male from Chicago. I cut out most of his profile that had to do with how he loves to translate poetry into 300 different languages. I just wanted to share how much some people put themselves out there on the internet. I wonder what kind of people respond to them.

My Self-Summary

Much of my life revolves around sex. No, that doesn't just mean I'm horny. I am by nature promiscuous, voracious and flirtatious. I love giving orgasms and I love turning folk on. Sex and sexuality are an integral part of my life and the way I relate to the world. I'm the sort of man who will offer to perform oral sex on you just because you seem like a sexy person and expect nothing whatsoever by way of reciprocation (though it would certainly be welcome.) I'd rather reenact the complete works of Stephen King than lose my libido.

And I am a feminist. My feminism, in fact, like my sexual personality is more than simply an idea or a sentiment. It is another key part of my identity. Because of my peculiar upbringing in an environment with somewhat unusual gender roles, I have a fairly feminist sexual pathology. Indomitable, independent women are sexier than anything. I think Louise Labé, Lou Salomé, Sor Juana Ines de la Cruz, Forough Farrokhzad, Hypatia of Alexandria, Princess Arachidamia, Zenobia, Edna St. Vincent Millay, Cathy Davis, Miss Rani Lakshmibai of Jhansi and Simone de Beauvoir all rank among the sexiest women ever to exist.

I am easily aroused.

The first things people usually notice about me

The fact that their mom seems to be enjoying herself rather thoroughly and that they should therefore leave us to continue our business. Or perhaps that I'm babbling about something that bores them.

The most hilarious compliment anyone's ever given me:

You're like detective Munch from Law & Order, only not as Jewish and with a bigger penis
-An Old Fuck Buddy

The six things I could never do without

Poetry
Sex
My Laptop
Exercise
Intelligent people
Magnum XLs

וַתַּעְגְּבָה, עַל פִּלַגְשֵׁיהֶם, אֲשֶׁר בְּשַׂר-חֲמוֹרִים בְּשָׂרָם, וְזִרְמַת סוּסִים זִרְמָתָם.
(There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.)
-Ezekiel [23:20]

The most private thing I’m willing to admit here

I once fucked a pastor on the floor of a seminary classroom. And oh damn it was good.

I'm told I eat pussy like a lesbian.

I have no gag reflex.

Lines that don't work on me

1. Your eyes are like the ocean, I just got lost in them.

2. Heya toots, how do your feet smell?

3. just trying to think of something clever or charming to say. I guess you just have me at a loss for words.

U r a princess, right?

My bad...

Hey, I'm sure you have been wondering where I have been all your life. Sorry I got held up rescuing damsels in distress, slaying dragons, freeing captured unicorns and then of course I got turned into a frog there for a bit. So sorry it took this long to get in touch with you. I'll make sure you have the fairest pony in all the kingdom and don't even get me started on the tiara :-)

ps. you are a princess right?

Things I've been called by strangers...

Cutie
Sexy
Hun
Toots
Gangsta


Word to the wise, I've never continued conversations with any of those people.

We're All Sexual Beings

After Mini DJ turned out to be a dud, albeit a hilarious dud, I signed up for okcupid.com
It's free, interactive with questions and quizzes so it seemed like fun.

One of the first guys who messaged me was tall, not unattractive, and interested. I figured it was worth a shot.
We made small talk for a couple days. He started ranting one day about politics. The below is an approximation of the conversation that followed:

me: don't rant too much can't be good for your health
tall photographer: i can think of a better way to vent, masturbation
me: sure, i agree
tp: even better is sex with someone else so you can share your joy
me: okay...i guess so, im a sexual being too blah blah
tp: no shame in being a sexual being. my last girlfriend sure wasnt
me: ok...
tp: she would have sex, but no BJs. apparently for her a dick in the pussy was good enough cause she didnt have to look at it

gross. blocked him. the end.

Mini DJ, blu ray, and webcaming

One young man sent me a message on Match asking for my sn. I gave it to him and we started chatting.

Background info:
Listed as 5'6", which is how tall I am, I try not to be heightist but after Derek I am wary of short men.
His favorite things to do: beat, board, chill...
He was kind of cute and seemed potentially interesting so I gave it a shot.
Lauren dubbed him Mini DJ due to his height and interest in "beats" 

In our first convo he mentioned he was about to run some errands so I asked "anything fun or just run of the mill stuff?" and he replied "nope"
I should've known then that this wasn't going to go well.

Later that night he IMed me again. We made small talk, I told him I was hanging out with a friend. etc
Out of the blue he says "come blu ray a movie on my movie screen!"
I understand he meant for me to come over and watch a movie but who the hell says it like that??? Lauren suggested I respond with a random string of words "yeah baby lets go keyboard a computer desktop"

me: what?
mini dj: come chill I'm bored, lol
me: hanging with a friend
mini dj: ahh k. sorry was that to upfront of an invite? lol. i mean, i figure what better way to get to know you, then meet you?
me: I was confused at first but yeah it's late and I don't know you :-)

Then later that same night

mini dj: feel like webcaming?
I told him I didn't have one (that's a lie, but eww)
mini dj: ohh, you should get one. it's kewl. like spelling cool kewl...kewl. seriously though you should get one.

Another night I was online while babysitting. When I told him I was babysitting he was disappointed because he was "gonna ask me out for drinks or something" He asked a few times "are you sure you arent having a party where ur babysitting" and saying "wont the kids be asleep by 11"
Gross. A) No. B) I don't invite strangers over when parents entrust me with their children.

The last time I spoke to Mini DJ I had a few drinks and was acting dumb and intoxicated to see what I could get him to say. Everything below is typed just how it appeared in our IM convo

me: how goes it?
mini dj: pretty good. got but by a dog today. but im good. you?
me: good I've been drinking
mini dj: oh really? well you should bring me a drink yoo
me: get your own, greedy
mini dj: lol. pleh. whatcha drinking? ahh im falling asleep. entertain me hun.
me: whiskey sours. wake up!
mini dj: didnt work. i think you need to come in perosn. preson. dam. person. lol.
me: 3rd times a charm
mini dj: but 4 reals
me: I'm out with a friend :-(
mini dj: ahh. nice. where u at?
me: some place off woodward
mini dj: what place?
me: I don't know lol. a little buzzed, oops.
mini dj: lol. cum be buzzed w/ me!
me: can't drive lol
mini dj: i can. if i move im mad comfy right now.
me: well ur comfy don't worry bout it
mini dj: i want to be comfy with you though
me: lol
mini dj: im just trying to say, i think WE work. will work icely together :-)
me: how do you figure
mini dj: your nice and im nice
me: is that enough?
mini dj: for a start. hrartheart.
me: ?
mini dj: i dono. im too tired.
me: go to sleep?
mini dj: waiting 4 u though
me: I'll see you in my dreams ;-)
mini dj: make dreams a reality. i dono. i like you.
me:you hardly know me
mini dj: lol from what i know. and your really cute in ur pics.

Beginnings

Last year a friend and I joined Match.com out of morbid curiosity. We thought we'd see what all the hype was about...couldn't hurt, right?
She didn't find anything worthwhile and continued dating the man she met offline.
I, however, had a whirlwind..."datemance" with the infamous Derek; short, gymnastics coach, jerk.
After that regrettable relationship I left the online dating world. 

Until a couple months ago when a cute, interesting guy sent me a "wink" on Match. Basically the equivalent of poke on Facebook...if you only poked strangers you wanted to date and/or have casual sex with.
I got back on Match to communicate with this guy, after one IM conversation we stopped chatting.

But this was the move that prompted me to give meeting someone online another try.